A month can be finished tidily or finished gently, and it took me a long time to notice that those are not the same thing.
October has a habit of inviting an audit on its last day, and the audit is rarely the useful part. Nicole Junkerman on arriving at the end of a month without turning it into a verdict.
The end of a month asks a leading question
Something about a final date suggests a summing up, and the summing up almost always takes the same shape: what was meant to happen, what happened, and the gap between them. It is a tidy structure and a slightly unkind one, because the gap is where all the attention lands.
A month is not a container, though. Most of what made October what it was arrived without an invitation, and a good deal of it will not become visible for weeks. Judging it on the thirty first is judging it early, with half the evidence missing.
A gentler kind of looking back
What I find more useful is simply listing, without ranking. Here are some things that happened. Here are some that were put off, some that turned out differently, and one or two that were abandoned for perfectly good reasons. Nothing in that list needs a score attached to it.
That is close to what this journal is for, and the journal pages are mostly made of exactly that. Earlier in the month there was a note here on beginning October calmly, which this is the other bookend of.
What the season is doing anyway
The turn towards winter is already well under way and does not require a decision from anyone. The light has gone by late afternoon, the garden has stopped asking for much, and there is a general slowing that would happen whether or not it appeared in a plan.
Working with that rather than against it has made the last week of October considerably easier for me. The month is ending by itself. There is no particular need to finish it harder than it is already finishing.
Carrying November lightly
November will arrive tomorrow with its own ideas and does not need a strategy tonight. One thing picked up and carried forward is usually enough, and it rarely turns out to be the thing that looked most important on a list. The blog keeps returning to that, and the archive has the longer version.
So: a month closed gently, which mostly means closed without a verdict. October was what it was. It can be set down the way you would set down a book you intend to come back to, rather than the way you would file a report.
Frequently asked questions
- What is wrong with reviewing a month?
- Nothing, as long as it is a list rather than a verdict. The trouble with the usual format is that it measures the month against a plan, so all the attention lands on the gap between the two.
- Why is the end of October early to judge it?
- Because a good deal of what a month contained does not become visible for weeks. Summing it up on the final day means summing it up with half the evidence still missing.
- What does carrying November lightly mean?
- Mainly taking one thing forward rather than a programme. It is rarely the item that looked most important on a list, and a month is quite capable of beginning without a strategy.
This site shares personal reflections and general writing on meditation, mindfulness, and mental well-being. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, therapy, counselling, or crisis support.
